Hmmm...tonight have no idea why suddenly i felt so empty. Even i try to put full concentration on something which i care the most right now in life -- study, but i still cant focus.
Normally when i am sad, anything bad happened to me and i dun wanna think about it i will throw all the nonsense behind and start to be a geek.
Sigh...but tonight have no idea whats wrong, whole time reading nothing gets into my mind, and then all my emo feeling get worse as second fly. (i think since noon i am a little emo already) My brain starts showing some past relation scenery like tape in the cinema and my chair has glue. i cant stop it or either walk away and not see it. Try to pause it, preferably stop completely.
i am flipping my economic book and the feeling of getting into relation gets stronger as i flip more pages. Try to put on my earphone and listen to music so it may disturb my emotion and bring me back to study for econ.
but guess what even the songs that are playing in my list is like emo and the moment i sing the lyric, all the words i sing it hit directly into my heart and gosh...
who can come n chill me up...!!!
i need a comfortable shoulder baby...!!!
gosh...even when i break up i dun feel as sad as emo as that night... think back i been single almost 1 year and 3 months already. what is holding me back?! is my confident towards guys?! for the past one year i been active in Rotract events, meeting lot new ppl, have lots of fun moments. but to flirt and hook up with any guys or even get in to relation have not come accross my mind n it is not even my motive to attend all this event. no doubt i been saying who is cute, who have good and fit figure but it never been my aim to go after or continue to find out more about him.
i have lots of questions....
will my emo continue?!
will my motive changed?!
will i give any guys a chance?!
will i continue be "too" or "over" rational when judging a guy?!
will i............!!!
it is hard for me now to invest even a single 1% of feelings on a guy. Is hard for a guy heart at this age stay for a gal for long and frankly say i dare not guarantee i will be faithful also. but what can i say is that chances of a gal switch feeling is much much much lower than guy.
is realtion worth my time?!
will long distance relation this magical story worth?! (i know it wont work)
so many questions with negative answers which me myself can give u the answers fear me and telling me not to invest in this sector of business which you cant even find an insurance to cover your lost.
sigh...
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