12/02/2007
A day where i will never forget. A day where i had to go to college and see some people which i really dont wish to see and i still have to be in the same math class with him for 2 hours.
My best friends like Sarah, YokeHan and Angelyn was like looking at me when he enter the class and sat behind. I have to tell them that i am okay and i have to smile and be as usual the Happy Ying. (I think only Angelyn is the only person see me cried in the college, while half way doing our club Valentine's project)
It wasn't that hard for me to focus in all the classes because I know I am sitting for AS Level exam (A-Level 1st exam) and I need to do well in it. So inside the class i keep doing things, work and make myself exhausted, so that i can fall asleep easily at night.
But it was hard...!!! Some times at night no matter how tired am i, i will still cry silently with my pillow on top of head and face down. Cry till i got no tears and eye sore only go to bed.
Then since that day, I lost all kind of confident with guys. I just dont want to get into any relation even along the road i meet so many nice, good guy who treated me with care and really sweet guys.
Seriously, I know all of them drop obvious hint on me. Telling me that "hey ying accept me please" kind of thing but i just act ignorant and I always give a cold respond on their sweet talk or just put some joke over their lame joke to get away from the topic.
I enjoy their company when I want to go watch movie and I cant find anyone to company me. Or just go out for lunch when they call and so coincident i dont have any plan. So basically, i find myself very evil, mean and unfair to those guys.
But i just cant help it. I just cant gain back those kind of confident, energy, courage and motivation to fall for someone else again. I always say "I AM TIRED OF ALL THIS NONSENSE...!!!"
I try to go after a guy last year, but in the end i give up after awhile because he was trying to sell himself at a high price and thinking that i will be such a silly, clumsy, stupid and ignorant girl who will wait for a guy that is so self-centered?!
(Gosh... Come on.... My name is YING XIN...!!! I am not called STUPID...!!!)
Now, i will just wait and only will do something if i needed to and will see how my life will turn up in the end.
Anyway, HAPPY VELENTINE TO EVEYONE...........!!!!!!
~one last time, Ying is still SINGLE~
(believe it....!!! dont ask me anymore...)
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